From Harms to Healing through Help and Humility

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To some extent, time does heal. As years pass by, the pains and rubs of the past do have a way of being washed out of our memories and we can cope better with life. But it is also true that with help and humility people can find greater healing from past harms and at times even experience degrees of reconciliation with others. This kind of healing is never automatic. It usually involves a deliberate effort on the part of  people to think about the past in an honest way and to reach forward for some sort of resolution. Human initiative really does make a difference here. Sometimes dialogue is part of the process. Sometimes other people serve as go-betweens. And sometimes individuals find ways to transcend their own burdens within themselves. But in all of my years of promoting good resolution processes for resolving crimes and conflicts, I have come to see that there is never deep, significant healing from past harms without some outside help and some internal humility.

Without help and without humility, it is hard to move on toward relational healing from past harms or hurts.

My life work is to promote good resolution processes that allow both help and humility to support people who have been affected by crime, conflict or past trauma. This means support for victims as well as for offenders of crime. support for people in dispute over situations where their interests clash, support for groups that have been impacted by unexpected losses or persistent conflict, and support for people who find that time alone does not heal past hurts that ruminate in their minds.

 There is no deep resolution to relational hurts without deep listening.

The number one drive in my work is to take all that I learn from difficult situations and transfer it into positive teaching and service for others. All of my work divides into two parts: I serve restorative justice programs that address crimes, and I serve church communities that address conflicts. This work covers three main areas: prevention, intervention, and post-incident healing. The nature of my work falls into four general categories: trainings, presentations, mediations and consultations. And now I will close with the five ‘Cs’:

Conflict Creates a Chance for Constructive Change